The Business Plan & The Battlefield of My Mind

The Business Plan & The Battlefield of My Mind

So after all was said and done, based on Kyle's comments, I would say my grade was a B+ or maybe an A-. He said he was "impressed" with my work and gave me the next portion of the plan to do.

After watching my video again, I was a little annoyed with how defeated I was acting in the beginning of the video. I almost wanted to edit that beginning part out because it just seemed so pathetic. It was quite embarrassing. But I decided to leave it up because it was real. That is how I was feeling that day and I try my hardest to be a real role model to others and the only way I can be a real role model is to be transparent. I am not always at my best and there is indeed a battle taking place in my mind. I have those moments when just the thought of moving forward makes me so scared I just stand still for long periods of time, but then when I finally get my mind right (usually through prayer) I remember I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Also as I was watching the video, I was able to really see the way I allow my own fears and insecurities to get the best of me at times. That was painful to watch. Here I am today, on the other side of that video and I know how completing that portion of the plan wasn't nearly as hard as I thought it was going to be. As I was recording that footage I really thought that I was up against a giant, but here on this side of it all, I know I was not up against anything really, just the fictitious fear in my mind.

After watching this video, I feel like it really is time. It is time for me to really begin to overcome my fears and insecurities. One book I was reading lately, said in order to win with other people you have to first win with yourself and the way you do that, is by (first) forgetting the things that you are insecure about.  I need to really and truly forget the things that I am insecure about. I prayed last night to God that he would help me to finally get over my insecurities and practice what I preach. The videos I did on insecurities came to mind. Overcoming Insecurities to "Go Natural", Natural Hair Insecurities; " I Won't Look Good With Short Hair!"Overcoming Insecurities; What If Those Fears Weren't Even Real?!Natural Hair Insecurities: Overcome with Positive Affirmations on Steroids!) Positive Affirmations + Faith = Success in Overcoming Insecurities (Part 2)

I haven't done daily affirmations, seriously, in quite some time.  Time to get back to those. I also made up my mind to make a list of things I was insecure about so I can forget them. They don't matte and the only people who notice them are more than likely just me and perhaps a hater or two, but to the people who matter, they don't notice the things I am super insecure over and therefore I need to stop making them so much bigger in my mind than they are in reality.

So let me get to it! Thanks for letting me share. Please feel free to leave any comment you may have on this.


  1. This was a great video & post. It is so hard to be transparent but I'm glad you were because it was an encouragement to me. I'm currently at a cross roads with my business -aka not really getting anywhere- and I'm concerned that God may be leading me in a new direction. What's funny is that you mentioned moving was a motivation for you to get it together and how funny is it that I'm moving by July 1. There is something about change that motivates me as well. I'm considering going back to hand made goods - which proves to be most successful in my past- but am doubting myself and to keep it real - I'm starting to feel real tired of trying. Sorry to unload on you girl - it's just these feelings are real lol and so many other people just don't "understand" my mentality. Anywho, keep posting and I'll pray God leads us like only He can. ;)

    1. Hey Candace! I can relate to feeling tired of trying. I have those thoughts sometimes. Like, "Clearly this is not working out for me, maybe I just need to give up and just be regular". But the thing is, I cannot just be normal, that would hurt more than all the failures associated with trying.

      Before you call it quits, I say really pray about it. I have wanted to quit so many times and to be honest I have quit more times than I care to admit, but I do believe this is the thing for me to be doing. When I look at all the resources God continues to make available to me I know this is the path he has set for me.

      Case in point, I do not have a "job" not two nickels to rub together, yet and still, without even asking for it, I have been blessed with everything I need to work on my business. The cameras, the computers, etc. I keep getting upgraded and each time, it's like it just happens. So take an inventory of where you are and what provisions you have right now. Without trying too hard, what does it seem easy for you to do with the resources you have? That will shine light on your situation. It did for me.

      Keep me posted! And all the best to you.

  2. I agree...great video and blog. You should definitely not be embarassed for sharing your feelings, Sunshine, you were being real...that's what makes you so endearing to so many. And relatable. Everyone has some sort of insecurity that they struggle with, encouragement and spiritual guidance is always helpful. Thanks so much for sharing. Blessings...
    P.S. Love the scarf in the video!!:)

    1. Thank you Tia! Your comment is GREATLY appreciated. And YES!!! That scarf is awesome and it looks good on camera.

  3. Great video. It's amazing how you can see one thing and others see something so very different. I saw complete victory in this video. How you started the video is quite normal for just about everyone. How it ended is not so normal because many people quit and you didn't.

    For everyone striving for success in anything, I just want to say that if you are worrying, stressing and working much too hard, it's not God who is working in your life! To make it a little clearer, your switch cannot be in manual (your hard labor) and automatic (God at work) at the same time. Relax and let the power of God flow! Everything that you will need to proceed comes so easily when you can relax and trust God enough to give you everything you need when you ask. Relax!

    Sunshine, I shouted for joy when you took your mind off of your problem and turned to the Word of God. That's all that God asks of us . . . draw near to Him and resist Satan. You turned away from the doubts and fears Satan was trying to feed your mind and turned to God. Satan had to flee! That's when God could easily get what you needed to you. Glory to God!

    1. Hi Karen,

      You know what?!?!?? You are right and that was just the enemy. I thought about your comment this morning and I was like she is so right. As I was watching it to post it yesterday, the enemy was surely whispering in my ear telling me how pathetic I sounded. I knew it was him because I actually considered not showing that side of myself (the beginning of the video) because of my own pride. But I knew I needed to do it and I knew it would be a blessing to many.

      So you are right, the video is one of victory. Thank you for your perspective and wisdom.


As always, thanks for reading and commenting! I love the feedback.

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