To All My Fellow "Control Freaks" || What To Do When Things Don't Go YOUR Way.

Originally posted April 5, 2012

During my daily quite time with God he has been revealing things about me that were actually working against me. He has shown me those traits in my character which were more in line with the enemy. He has been showing me the difference between the old things which have passed away and how to live like the new creation I am in Christ. 

During this time, he showed me that I was controlling (and manipulative) which was not of Him. He taught me how to put on my "new man". The following came from my journal. Let me set the scene for you...

The Lord had already shown me that I was controlling and how my controlling ways brought along with it, as a side dish, anger, bitterness, resentment and stress. So I began praying for him to help me. Things got better, I had the scriptures I needed written in my little journal and I was able to bring them into remembrance when tested. 

THEN...this happened...

It had been a long day at home with my son and I was looking forward to my husband coming home and helping with him. I just needed a little break. So as the night drew near, I was pooped. I tried to put my son down to bed but he was not ready to sleep. My husband said he needed to run to his office or something and would be right back. MY PLANS were for him to come  right back home and put away the leftover dinner and keep the little guy occupied while I went to bed early. So I got in bed just knowing he would be home soon. My son got up and came in my room, wide awake, wanting attention. I tried to get up and play with him but I was sleepy! I kept telling myself, "He'll be home in a few minutes, just hang on until them. Just a few more minutes."

Eventually after about an hour, I knew he was not on his way back home. I had to muster up enough energy to take care of my son and put away the leftovers. When he finally came home a few HOURS later, I was mad!

This is what I wrote in my journal the next day.

When Things Don’t Go My Way…

  Because I am very controlling, I become angry, annoyed, frustrated or even bitter and resentful when things don’t go my way…

Perhaps I can try something else. When things go differently from the way I want them to go or differently from the way I planned, I can choose to believe God is doing is some rearranging and is working all things together for my good.

I can’t be so controlling if I claim I trust God and want his best for my life. I must relinquish the reigns of control.

Last night, my husband wanted to tell me what he thought God had led him to do. Out of my anger and bitterness over not getting my way, I said, “ I don’t want to hear it!”

When things don’t go my way, when I am angry, hurt, feeling sad or on the verge of a tantrum because life isn’t happening the way I want it to; I should, especially then, “Be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath” remembering “the wrath of [Sylvia] does not produce the righteousness of God.”

Last night as soon as I realized things were going differently than I expected or hoped, I should have immediately prayed,

“God, right now things are not going the way I had hoped which is fine since I’m not God, you are. I am asking that you please help me submit to your will in this situation. Please equip me in this moment, Holy Spirit, to be content no matter the details, fully trusting that even right now God the father is working all things together for my good.

Jesus I come boldly to the throne of grace that I may obtain mercy and find grace to help me because I am tempted to feel anger and bitterness over not being in control.

Thank you God that as soon as I pray you hear me and encourage me by strengthening me.

In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.”

After I prayed I should have remembered James 1:19-20

“Let every man be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to take offense and to get angry. For mans anger does not promote the righteousness God wishes and requests."

When I finally spoke I should have “let no corrupt word proceed out of my mouth, but what is good for necessary edification that it may impart grace to the hearers. Ephesians 4:29

Last night had I followed this plan I could have possibly heard a great testimony from my husband. I could have had more peace. God could have used me for good in my husbands’ life.

God definitely used this as a teaching opportunity. I had all the scriptures I needed but I didn't really  have a plan. He inspired me to write this plan, and I can tell you, that just writing it was huge. Since then I have been able to let go of the reigns more and I have joy indescribable. I can actually rest now because I am not to trying to be God. Not to mention, I know I am much easier to get along with. 

I wanted to share this with you. If you are controlling God can and will help you, but first you must confess your sins and ask for his help!

Sunshine Abuwi

Hi, I’m Sunshine Abuwi! Success Coach, Motivational Speaker, Beauty & Wellness Blogger. I like to think of myself as living on purpose and so far these are the purposes I have aligned with. *Loving, supporting and building my healthy, happy family. *Learning to be confident in my Kinky Curly Afro textured crown.*Creating multiple streams of easy, joyful, satisfying income.*Feeling confident, secure and worthy of abundance. *Sharing all I learn with those who are seeking this information.  I'm glad you're here! So grab a coffee, sit back and scroll through the many blogs and videos that span the last decade of my life. I hope something resonates and that by observing my processes, perspectives and preferences you are inspired in your own journey. Can’t wait to connect wth you in the comments. Your new friend, #SunshineAbuwi